“What keeps us going is that we never ever have quite what we want,
and I think once we do, then life gets kind of boring.”
– Connie Podesta

If you haven’t already, you should go watch Connie Podesta speak live. She’s been an international motivational speaker for over 25 years, and has addressed over 2 million people around the world, and worked with over 1000 organizations. She’s funny. She has substance. And she’s got style.

When I interviewed Connie Podesta, she shared an insightful thing about the 3 relationships that control our lives.

And guess what? They are not relationships with people. Here they are.

#1: Your Relationship with Money

Most of us grew up in a home where we either heard that money is amazing, and that you can do a lot of good with it; or, that we don’t have enough money, and that money is the root of all evil. There are many variations of that of course. But those are the two main categories.

On one side of the coin, if you have a positive relationship with money and you believe in its power to do good, you will have less resistance building a big business, accumulating wealth, and enjoy what money can do for you and others.

On the other side of the coin, you might not have much money, but justify it with statements such as, “We don’t have much money, but at least we’re good and loving.” But what does that make you think about people who DO make lots of money? You won’t network with them. You won’t associate with them. You won’t feel GOOD about accumulating wealth.

What’s your relationship with money? Start noticing it. Because money is neither good or bad. It’s just a means of exchange.

#2: Your Relationship with Food

Notice that when some people are stressed out, depressed, or feeling at loss, they binge eat or drink? Whether it is chocolate, pizza, beer, or candy.

Then notice that some other people, when they are stressed out, depressed, or feeling at loss, lose their appetite? They can go for hours without food, starving themselves.

Most of us either over eat or under eat when it comes to food. It isn’t common to find people who have a middle ground with it. But the whole point about food, is that your relationship to food determines your relationship to health and your body.

And when you rely on food (or the lack of food) as a cure to the way you feel; rather than eating for sustenance, then our well-being suffers. We’ve all heard of emotional eating.

What’s your relationship with food? Take a note of it and notice how you behave. Also notice how that impacts your money, and how you spend your money when you go out to the grocery store.

#3: Your Relationship with Intimacy

Intimacy has two parts. One is that you are a person who is capable of loving. Which means you trust other people, and you don’t think they are trying to betray or fool you around. Basically, you are capable of loving without being afraid.

The other part is that you are a person capable of being loved. That means when people express their care for you and show their affection, you can receive it without feeling afraid.

There are a lot of people who can do one of them, but not the other. They can love others and everybody, but they are emotionally distance and can’t receive it. Such as being praised, receiving gifts, or allowing others to express their love by doing them favors.

What’s your relationship with intimacy like? Can you give but not take? Can you take but not give? Do you struggle with intimacy overall?

“Most people think either money’s going to change them or food, drinking is going to change them, or having that one-person intimacy is going to change them, when really it’s all their messages about those things that are keeping those from happening.”
– Connie Podesta

When you think of the three relationships with money, food, and intimacy; if those things were people, what sort of relationship would you rather have?

Hope you enjoyed this post. And, I highly recommend you watch the video interview I did with Connie 😊

Choose Gratitude Create Freedom

Steve Napolitan

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